Runs on a real clock — your pet keeps living while the tab is closed. Saved in this browser only.
❓ How to Play
Pick your host at the egg — Tom or Jenn. You have been issued one (1) of them. They are your responsibility now.
The buttons
A — move to the next icon around the screen
B — select / confirm
C — cancel / go back
You can also just tap an icon directly. Keyboard: ←/A, Enter/Space/B, Esc/C.
What they need
🍞 Feed — Tom: 12-hour French toast, the Blue Iguana burrito, a DELUXE lemonade, ice cream. Jenn: funfetti cheesecake ("do not deny me this one"), an omelet-bar omelet, POG & champagne, honey.
💬 Reassure — tell Tom a hot dog is a sandwich. Tell Jenn the entire ship is a balcony. Works almost every time.
🎰 Slots / 🏋️ Gym — Tom pulls slots (pay to be entertained; a win is a perk). Jenn hits the empty 6 AM ship gym.
😴 Nap — everyone dreams. Tom of an omelet bar with no rules; Jenn of Hawaii, 289 days out.
🤖 Roomba / 🧳 Pack — Tom deploys Franken-Roomba #6 on his messes; Jenn deploys the packing cubes.
🩹 Tend — seasick, sunburned, or hangry: fix it.
📸 Photobomb / 🥶 Freeze — Tom photobombs the crew photo (#WheresThomas); Jenn freezes on camera and Trevor prices the frame.
📊 Status — meters, day, loyalty tier, and everything they've eaten.
The rules
Real time. One sea day = one real hour. Close the tab, come back later — they'll have kept going without you (and they will mention it).
They grow. Egg → baby → teen → an adult form decided by how you raised them. There are six adult forms each. Some are better than others. One of Tom's is Killer. One of Jenn's is the Cruising Princess.
Nobody dies here. Neglect them badly enough and they simply miss the ship. Tom's fine — he's in Cozumel. Jenn didn't even technically miss it — she'll fly in that morning.
Day 7, the ship sails. Get them aboard and you get a card to share.
Jenn surfs everywhere. That's not a mode, it's a lifestyle. The board is a Jenn's Boards original.
An affectionate parody. No actual hosts were neglected in the making of this game.